Secrets
by Venus Hoshi
Summary: Sebastian x Grell(girl) When Grell comes for her regular visit to the Phantomhive manor, Sebastian confesses something to Grell that he has wanted to say for a long time. But will everything go as planned?
1. True Feelings

_Author's note: Please leave reviews and PM me! I love feedback, but please be respectful!_

**SebastianxGrell **

**Chapter 1: True feelings**

As normal, I went to visit my dear Bassy. When I reached the Phantomhive manor, I was greeted by the smell of fresh white roses and turned to find Sebastian working on his young master's garden. I bounded happily for him.

"Oh darling, aren't roses so romantic?" I trilled.

He looks, plucking a dead rose and sighs.

"I am far too busy tending to the roses to notice anything such as that ridiculous thought."

Ciel calls for Sebastian who stands and turns his back to me. Ciel glances my direction and frowns.

"What is this horrid idiot doing here?" he coughs out.

I roll my eyes.

"She is just leaving, my lord."

He grins and Ciel nods.

"Good. I have work to attend to in town for the day. I shall be back tomorrow evening. Keep the mansion from falling apart while I am away, won't you?" he states bored.

"What kind of a butler would I be if I could not maintain the manor in my master's absence."

Ciel gives an approving nod as he turns and leaves the garden. Sebastian turns to me and looks me sternly in the eyes and smile.

"Now, what to do with you?" He questions.

I walk up to him and take a rose from his hand.

"Gorgeous, roses are, don't you think, Bassy?" I smile widely

"They are my young master's choice." He says stately.

"Indeed. He has good taste, especially in butlers." I smile and give a flirty eyebrow wag.

Sebastian's eyes flash his natural demon glint of pink.

"Bassy, are you alright?" I ask, starting to get concerned.

"You see, I take care of all my young lord's problems and you, miss, are his problem."

I back away a little, putting on a sense of carelessness.

"I see. So what this time?" I turn my back, taunting him. "Are you going to simply throw me out or start tossing silverware at my head again?"

He drops the roses and shears he had in his hands and closed the gap between us. I turned around, just in time to see him raise a hand. I expect a hard blow to the face when I look up, his strong arm frozen in midair. I look at his face, searching it for rage or anger but only find it to be blank. Staring at me. He brought his hand down to caress my cheek. He held my face for a moment while I ponder his actions.

"Sebast-" I look to his eyes, confused.

"I never realized just how beautiful your eyes were, Grell." He says sincerely.

I stopped. Why was he being nice? Why is he touching me? He has never displayed any affection for me before, why start now? What was his angle? Did he want to throw me off guard so he could finish me off once and for all? I went to open my mouth to question him when his lips planted firmly on mine, cold but longing. The kiss lasted minutes and I felt his breath quicken as he pulled away.

"I-.." He looked down and his hand dropped from my face.

I looked into his eyes. I took a minute to think. Did he mean to do that? Is he trying to trick me or was that a moment of weakness when he let his true feelings show?

"Was that-?" I began but Sebastian cut in.

"That was an accident and I shouldn't have taken advantage of a young lady like that. I sincerely apologize." He started to turn but I caught his arm. He looked up and for a second I thought I saw a flash of hope in his eyes but it quickly vanished.

"There is nothing to apologize for. A young lady, such as myself, cannot be 'taken advantage of' as you said, by a simple kiss." I smile warmly

He turns to face me again. He gives me a questioning look and he takes my right hand in his, lifts it to his mouth and kisses it.

"My, my, miss. You seem to have control of any situation that comes your way." He purrs.

I smile and go in for another kiss. He smiles and reluctantly kisses me again. Once the kiss ends he looks around and frowns.

"We have some business to attend to if you would so kindly follow me to a more suitable place." He announces loudly. I give him a look of uncertainty but before he could see, he turns and heads to the manor, expecting me to follow. I chase him until I catch up. He leads me inside. We continue up the stairs and into a wing of the mansion that looks deserted.

"What 'business' do we need to attend to?" I ask, once safely alone. He doesn't respond but continues walking as he leads me to the end of a hallway and stops in front of large, wooden doors. He opens the heavy doors gracefully and beckons me to follow. Once inside, I marvel at the intricate high ceilings of the large bedroom we were in. He shut the doors behind us and turns to me.

"Our business is to make up for lost time." He grins.

I stand there, confused and stupid looking. His mood changes, his voice dropping low and mysterious.

"How could you?" he asks coldly.

"I- I don't understand." I respond, dumbfounded.

"How could you love a demon?" He barks.

I relax a little but still taken aback but his bitter tone.

"I don't know-. It just-. .happened like that. There is more to you than what other's see."

He gets upset, eyes raging their demonic pink. He steps forward offensively. I take a step back and put my arms up, protecting my head.

"How would you know who I am, reaper?" he growls.

"I have plenty of time to watch you and-"

"You only care for my exterior, isn't that right!?" He demands, cutting me off.

I look away thoughtfully, then look him dead in the eyes, taking a step toward him.

"If I cared only for your looks, I would have moved on a long time ago. Will is very attractive and he is an easier match. It is only natural for us to be together."

Sebastian looks upset, possibly at the thought of seeing Grell start a family with Will. He might even see the way Will longing looks at me. It is probably the same feeling he has after his young master's soul. Sebastian lets out a low growl. I look lovingly into his eyes and touch his hair.

"You see, I love you, not what you look like." I give a faint smile and he calms down, his eyes fading black.

"I just don't understand how." He looks down. I get closer to him and pull him into a hug, taking in his delicious scent of Earl Gray and roses. He hugs me tight but reluctantly. I lift my head and kiss his familiar lips. He deepens the kiss, causing us to lose balance and fall on the bed. I giggle and he sits up, confused.

"What is wrong, dear Bassy?"

He looks over the bed and back at me.

"I never wanted to let down my guard around you." He says slowly and continues. "I know I will lose my control and not be able to get it back."

I nod and listen. He looks deep into my eyes and rests his hand on my hand.

"I love you Grell. It has been hard to come to terms with and I know that if this should ever get out, it would be hell for all who are involved. You see, I have waited for this moment for so long. All the times that I haven't told you my true feelings is killing me." Sadness crossing his face.

"I don't care what happens. We can make it through this. No one has to know."

He looks shocked then a sad smile follows.

"True, darling, but I would want to share you with the world but I know that will only get us both killed."

My heart warms at his confession. I pull him down on the bed and begin unclothing him. He looks concerned and while I undress him he asks, "Are you sure of the consequences that might ensue?"

I answer him with a deep passionate kiss and he starts unbuttoning my blouse. The evening was long and emotional as Grell and Sebastian made up for lost time.


	2. Morning After

**Chapter 2: Morning After**

I wake up with my head on Sebastian's chest. I look up to see him watching me sleep.

"You already up?" I ask, sleepily.

"I don't sleep sweetie." He smiled jokingly

I reach my hand up to touch his face but he catches my hand and kisses it.

"I enjoyed last night." He smiles.

"As did I, Bassy." I grin. "I have never felt anything so raw and passionate."

Sebastian's expression changes from one of happiness into one of horror.

"Bassy?" I ask concerned

He moves my blood red hair off my shoulder to expose huge bruises all over my arm. I look at Sebastian and try to calm him down.

"They don't even hurt, look-" I poke the teeth marks on my collarbone then cringe at the awful pain.

He pulls the covers down to expose my beaten and battered body. I have bruises everywhere. From my hips to my neck, they are scattered and varying in intensity. He pulls away from me and sits up, worry overtaking his gorgeous face.

"I can't believe-." He looks solemnly at me. "I'm so sorry, Grell. I told you that I would lose control. I-." He looks back at my dilapidated body. I lift his face to meet my gaze.

"I'm fine, love" I whisper lovingly. "I didn't even know I was hurt until just now-"

"But you ARE hurt and I caused it!" He shouted angrily.

"Darling. Bassy. I will okay!" I smile warmly.

Sebastian, still looking concerned, lays back down and gingerly holds me. He strokes my flowing red hair and whispers his apologizes. I rest against him, letting his strong body console my injuries. His presence and scent lulls me back to sleep.


	3. Explanations

**Chapter 3: Explanations**

When I awake, Sebastian is sitting in front of me in his usual raven black suit. He has brought me tea and scones by the aroma filling the room.

"Good morning, my dear. Care for something to eat?" He recites in his usual butler fashion. I blush a bit, hating him doing things for me, but my hunger eventually got the best of me and I caved, eating hungrily. While I ate, Sebastian explained to me why he was so upset earlier and his hesitations on expressing his true feelings from the beginning.

"So your sister was in a situation similar to ours?" I ask curiously.

"Yes, my sister, Adailee, was a demon, like me, and fell in love with a reaper. They had relations and she got pregnant. She died in child birth, however."

"How did I not hear of this?" I wonder.

"Once you cross into another race of immortals, you have to keep everything a secret or else you and everyone you care for, lose their lives. " He states matter-of-factly. I nod understandingly. "And that is why I could not openly confess my feelings about you. If I did, my master would certainly have me killed."

"And what would become of Ciel?"

"Our contract would be broken and he would forget me and all events that occurred since the formation of our contract."

I sip my tea as I listen to Sebastian continue his explanations. After he was done, he gathered what was left of breakfast, kisses me lightly on the forehead, and slips from the room.


	4. Complication

**Chapter 4: Complication **

*One week later*

I jump from rooftop to rooftop like normal but something feels different this time. I am weaker than usual and I get headache regularly now. I stop on a roof to collect myself. I sit down and hug my knees, trying to soothe the pain in my stomach. 'Am I really out of shape already?' I think to myself. I hear the roof behind me shift and before I can turn around Sebastian's arms are around me. I smile and hide the pain that is threatening to make me blackout at any moment. The bruises still haven't healed and I don't want Bassy worrying so much about me. He sits down beside me and pulls my head into his chest.

"I missed you darling Grell." He whispers sweetly.

"I have as well, my dear-" my words are cut off by a violent pain and I vomit over the edge of the roof. Sebastian holds my hair until I am done and carefully rubs my back. I sit up and with a cornered look, he feels my forehead.

"Are you feeling alright, love?"

I nod and swallow down a second round of vomit.

"I have something to tell you." He says happily.

"Ciel will be leaving for nine days starting tomorrow morning. Right now he is away visiting Lady Elizabeth so we have ten nights all to ourselves." He nibbles my ear

I look into his eyes with tears falling off my face. He looks into my eyes with worry and hurt, thinking I am rejecting his offer.

"I just thought-" looking away, clearly hurt.

"I'm pregnant!" I blurt out, cutting off his sentence.

He looked back at me suddenly and grinned. "Grell, that's-AMAZING!"

I look down and mutter, ". . .no. . . " surprising even myself.

He looks hurt and confused.

"This is the best thing that has ever happened to me- to us. How could you say something like-" hurt in his voice.

"Don't you understand!? This thing will kill me! My body isn't capable of handling demon strength! I barely made it through alive a week ago!" I shouted, upset.

He shifts and looks up at the moon.

"How could this happen? I'm a moron! I already lost my sister to this and now I'm going to lose you! Why wasn't I more cautious?!" he hits the roof angrily with his fist, making the building underneath us shake.

I pull myself together and turn his head my way with one index finger.

"Darling, I'll make it through this."

He doesn't look at me but keeps his eyes on the small bump my belly has become.

"Sweetie, Bassy! Look at me!" He looks into my eyes, searching for answers.

"I won't die. Not when I have you to live for."

My statement calms him down and he pulls me into his lap and puts a hand on my stomach, rubbing it tenderly.

"Hello, baby. It's daddy." He purrs lightly.

My stomach raises a bit.

"I think it recognizes you." I smile enthusiastically.

He leans down and kisses my tummy. He then lifts me up, carrying me baby style, softly jumping from roof to roof. I fall asleep in his arms as the wind plays with my hair and the moonlight casts hauntingly beautiful shadows on the ground.


	5. Growing Pains

**Chapter 5:** **Growing Pains **

We arrive back at the Phantomhive manor and into our large room when Sebastian wakes me. He lays me gently on the bed and begins to undress for sleep. I do the same as I watch his face. His expressions shift from joy, to despair, to …. Regret? Once I was comfortable, I pulled him into bed and began kissing him.

"No." He pulled away quickly, leaving me feeling abandoned. "I- No… I just- I can't let myself have you again. A week ago, I almost killed you…and now that you're pregnant, we just can't risk it.." He looks my bruises over.

I smile faintly. "I'm fine. I'm not dying-" I take a breath as Sebastian looks into my eyes, defeated. I continue," nor will I be any time soon. So please, just let yourself be happy for once." With hesitation, he let me kiss him again. The kissing got heavier and deeper when sharp pains shoot through my stomach. I hide the pain, of course, because Bassy would think he is hurting me when he just let himself start dreaming our future together. He continues kissing me when the baby kicks, leaving a bruise on my stomach. Sebastian immediately stops and smiles. He bends down and rests his head on my tummy.

"Don't worry, Daddy's here." A smile creeps on his face. The baby kicks even harder and Sebastian looks at me just in time to see my eyes roll in the back of my head and my body slump, then go completely limp.

_Author's Note: Sorry these couple chapters are short. It is hard trying to think of something good to put in. And I like cliff-hangers! Please review!_


	6. Midnight Suprise

**Chapter 6: Midnight Surprise**

***Sebastian POV***

I freak out inside but know, in emergencies, to keep calm. I raise my hand up, bringing it down fast, slicing Grell's stomach open with one swipe of my nails. I retrieve the baby and lay it down a towel close by. I rush back to sew up her gaping wound and perform CPR. I pull Grell into a good position and start pumping on her chest and desperately trying to revive her. Nothing happens. Tears threaten to appear as my frustration and anger spill over. I sigh and quickly something in the room changes. My body starts glowing its demonic pink when it leaves me and goes into Grell's lifeless body. I collapse on my knees and rest my head on the bed. I hear a light wheezing and look up to find her chest slowly rising and falling. I stand up and walk to her side. I cradle her body carefully. She opens her eyes slightly and finds mine.

"I told you I would make it." She gurgles weakly. Her eyes close, and her body going limp again. Her breathing is shallow but constant. I take me leave to tend to the monster that almost killed her. Once I get it washed up and clothed, I return to her side. I kneel down next to her as she opens her eyes weakly.

"My lady, how are you feeling?" I manage to get out, pushing down the very real fact that I could lose her tonight. She looks into my eyes and stares blankly for a moment.

"Don't leave me. I will be back soon." And with that, she closes her eyes. Her breathing quickens and then completely stops. Her body goes lifeless on the blood soaked sheets. Tears fall from my eyes as I collapse, resigned, on the floor.

_Author's note: Please leave reviews. I enjoy writing these but I am definitely not a writer! :P Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!_


	7. Regret anything yet?

**Chapter 7: Regret anything yet? **

Over the next couple of days I clean up the room and take care of the baby. All of my natural chores get done, but with some help. I recruited some trusted butlers in the area to clean. I will not leave the room until I know my lover is safe from death's grip. I also hired a baby sitter so I could focus all of my attention on Grell during the day. The babysitter came to the door to take the baby for today. Once the door was closed and I was finally alone with my thoughts and a lifeless Grell, I crawled in bed with her and held her cold body in my arms, softly crying and hoping that her words were true and that she would, in fact, return to me. I let my mind wander as the hours pass. I feel empty now. I had just come to love and it had been violently ripped from my hands, leaving a broken heart and a constant reminder of her. The beast that took her from me. I lie like this for days, all day, holding my love and talking to her. I whisper for her to come back to me. After five days of constant heartbreak, I get up to call the Undertaker. I turn but out of the corner of my eye, I think I see her chest rising and falling. I whip my head back but see no movement. No change. My head falls and I stand there, paralyzed with guilt and hurt. The room is so silent. I feel like yelling. Then I faintly hear a moan and slight movement. I don't dare look. It's just my imagination. Tears stream down my cheeks and I slowly walk to her side. I kneel down, with my head in my hands.

"Darling, I have been waiting here patiently for you, like you said." I whisper breathlessly. I look up with hope in my eyes that maybe my loving words have affected something, but her pale body lies there still, on the newly cleaned sheets. I rest my head on her porcelain-like shoulder as I let the tears dampen her hair. She slowly opens her eyes and I look up, unbelieving into her light green eyes. The glow that is always there is strangely missing and my heart breaks a bit more. I lean up and kiss her lips carefully. Her eyes open wider, as if she got energy from the kiss alone. She reaches her hand up and touches my face, the stone cold hand sending shivers down my back. I weep openly after waiting for so long for her to finally awake. Her body is freezing but at least she is alive. For now.


	8. Eternal Love

**Chapter 8: Eternal Love **

*** Grell's POV***

When I finally slipped back into conscientiousness, I became aware of the agonizing pain my body was in. I hurt everywhere and I felt like my blood was a thousand degrees. I open my eyes to see Sebastian hovering over me, eyes full of tears, his lips moving but I'm not hearing anything but ringing. I close my eyes again and fight against Death that wants to drag me back down. I have already been battling Death for what seemed likes a lifetime. I open my eyes slightly and saw my love watching me intently. He leaned down and kisses my immobile lips. Electricity shoots through me and I open my eyes wider. My blood, my being, my _soul_ remembers his touch. My body jolts with energy at the thought back to our first night together. I look past Bassy's head and my eyes focus on the shiny, reflective, high ceiling. I saw myself in the silvery surface. I saw a white, porcelain doll with light pink hair. Wait….. PINK hair? My hair color must have faded as my soul slowly slipped from my body. I looked dead. No wonder my usually non-emotional butler babe was crying. I tried to look into his eyes but my gaze went further, penetrating deep into his soul. I could feel everything he felt. Pain, anger, confusion, love, longing, and …regret? What did he regret? That question scared me more than dying itself. I broke my lifeline stare with him and gawked at his lips. They were chapped and in a small frown. I noticed that he had been trying to talk to me so I focused my energy in reviving my hearing. After seconds of gut-wrenching pain, Bassy's sweet voice came into focus.

"Grell darling, are you hearing me?"

I blink and slowly smile, hating how much pain such a little movement causes me.

"Such a gorgeous voice of yours." I squeak out.

He smiles warmly. He sighs, clearly glad that I am finally responsive. He lies down beside me and just as he touches me to pull me closer to him, another surge of energy runs through me. He presses his body firmly against mine and I feel energy rushing into my body. My body consumes the energy that it has been lacking for, what seems like, forever. I smile and fall asleep on his chest and he strokes my sickly pink hair and softly sings me to sleep.


	9. Family Time interrupted

**Chapter 9: Family Time Interrupted **

I woke up hours later. The baby was finally home from being with the sitter all day. Sebastian was rocking the baby, watching me.

"Good morning, darling. How are you feeling?" he purred with a questioning smile showing through his concerned look. I avoided the question, not wanting to lie to the love of my life or tell the truth, for that matter.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" I asked, my eyes staring blankly at the baby resting in his arms.

"It's a girl." He cooed, smiling wide at the baby. I smile lovingly back but still hating that everything was moving so fast.

"I believe she is hungry." He looks at me questioningly. "Do you think you are up for feeding her?"

I felt like I could black out any second but I nodded and look her anyways. Sebastian sat down beside me and leaned me back onto his chest. She latched on to a teat and began to drink greedily. I rest my head right under his chin while she feeds. Every once and a while, his head would droop and fall asleep when jerk back awake. I carefully moved off of him and he jolted up, thinking something was wrong. He turned to me with a concerned look.

"You should get some sleep once she is done. It is suppose to be tasking on the female body." He smiles weakly. I nod and look down at the tiny infant. "What should we name her?"He asks, kissing the back of my head.

"Adailee." I whisper lovingly without thinking.

"I believe that is a perfect name." He states proudly but with some hurt masked behind a smile. Adi finishes and I hand her over to Sebastian who accepts. He rocks her gently and looks our child over. I watch his face carefully, trying to see if he truly regrets anything. He smiles and then yawns.

"When was the last time you actually got some rest?" I ask, upset at being a burden.

"A little over six days ago." He yawns without thinking. I take Adi from him, as anger then understanding washes over his face. "Thank you." He whispers and kisses my cheek. The minute his head hits the pillow, he is out. I sit for hours, watching the sun slowly creep through the windows. I feed Adi on and off. Just as I get through feeding her I hear a noise behind the closed door on the other side of the room. I tense up and Sebastian immediately shoots up in bed, just in time to see Claude stride through the door.


End file.
